—nightvision flowers • help you see better in the dark • direct sunlight is a no-go (recommend staying inside even) • sunglasses??? • lasts 3 hours
—funkylicious mushroom • you're gonna trip your ass off • don't take if you wanna be self-aware and possibly trapped in feelings • weird yellow drops might be best for mild blotter strips • whole goddamn mushroom lasted 4 hours
—leaves of unseeing • literally this fucking plant makes you (and anyone else who touches them with bare hands!!!!) blind • for 8 goddamn hours • 0/10 WOULD NOT RECOMMEND
—copycat flowers • makes you sound like the person you're talking to • maybe good for a prank if you wanna freak someone out? i got nothing honestly • lasts 6 hours
—stumbled across aloe vera • just basic-ass aloe vera like from earth? • soothes burns • safe to eat :) :) :) • also good for skincare
september;
—dragonsbreath • have you ever wanted to breathe fire? because this will make you breathe fire • have fun pretending you're a dragon but don't burn the place down thanks • blessedly only erupts like a heartburn burp • except with FIRE • thank god i found that aloe vera before
—i hate this fucking cyclops plant so goddamn much • because it gave me a third eye • right in the middle of my forehead • and the only way to get rid of it • is asking a god for help • wasn't all bad i guess since you can see more shit
—this nightmare fuel plant • have fun looking like slenderman for the next two days • painful bone-cracking is a side-effect • this would be cool for halloween
—terror berry • don't be fooled by the cute wordplay • this thing causes absolutely irrational fear • to everything AND everyone for twelve whole minutes • sorry to anyone who had to put up with that idiocy
—this weird cup plant had shit in it • i drank the goo :( • the moment i tried to say something untrue i couldn't breathe • not entirely sure how long it took but after waiting fifteen minutes i tried a test and it didn't happen again
—fuck these fucking blue motherfuckers • i turned blue for three days • THREE WHOLE DAYS • do you know how hard it is to color-coordinate blue skin with your clothes? • thankfully most of what i own is black so take that you stupid making my ass look like a smurf plant
—godawful neverending shouting fuzzy flowers • had to crush them up and put them into tea (the fur... i couldn't hold it in my mouth long enough) • throat was raw for a day or two after ten minutes of shouting • funny i think i had less trouble that one time when i hooked up with this guy after a rave and hey wait is this thing still on HOLY SHIT PLEASE STOP TYPING that doesn't need to be in there thanks and we're still going okay cool today is canceled
october;
—this weird dew-drop looking flower thing • ok so i tripped balls for ELEVEN GODDAMN HOURS • pros: i'm pretty sure this is acid no i'm absolutely POSITIVE it is so that's cool the trip was terrific but i experimented in my room which means effects could be different elsewhere will test again • cons: i couldn't get off my stupid beanbag
—all i did was touch these orchid-looking things • they secreted this weird purple shit • and i shrunk ten goddamn inches • stayed that way for two hours • then when i finally got back to normal it was disorienting as fuck and i ached for-fucking-ever UGH
—found some chamomile flowers • makes good tea • helps with: • sleeplessness • aches and pains • congestion
—this thing is ridculous • made ALL THE HAIR ON MY BODY grow really fast • for two whole minutes • i think my dick is cousin it now (added who knows how long later:) • thank god it all shaves off afterward
—gross (and that's all it says a good ten times, then there's one note at the end:) • gave me boils that went away after i suffered for three days... could've probably used my healing powers for this one
—whatever the hell this is? • i don't have much details about this plant yet • aside from that it made magic practice difficult as hell • more to come? who knows
—this weird flower that looks like a bat • made me into a disney princess • i could talk to the animals we have here? but i don't think they understood me • apparently morticia and elvira think they're going to get eaten??? • stupid chickens i wouldn't let that happen
—oh my god it's the most beautiful thing i've ever seen • you guys it's weed • i found fucking asgard weed and i'm so happy • oh yeah i guess it lasts for like seven hours • but who cares? why wouldn't you wanna always be stoned?
december;
—some kinda alcoholic plant? idk • pretty sure this thing came • think i'm just gonna start drinking and-slash-or eating this plant • since it makes you feel drunk for four hours • also tastes real fucking good (like apples sorta?) so it's a win-win here
—nifty little pods that make you invisible • like totally disappear • even though you can still be heard • oh and whatever you pick up doesn't disappear too :( sad • seven or so minutes of driving my roomies crazy
—annoying steam-shrooms • you know those cartoons where the character eats something spicy and steam shoots out their ears and nose??? yeah that's what happened with these plus hot flashes from hell and lightheadedness • only lasted five minutes at least
—this fabulous stuff • which is more weed of course • just look at it • absolute perfection that makes you feel light and warm and relaxed • doesn't last as long as the other stuff? only four hours with this one • but that's okay because it's still weed and that's great
—i don't wanna talk about this one • let's just say that in ten minutes you suddenly have popcorn from somewhere you'd never expect that's all
—no idea what the hell • after eating this the following happened: i broke my arm lifting my beanbag then i broke my ankle going down the stairs AND THEN i broke my clavicle running into a tree branch after all this happened i finally said fuck it and stopped moving • everything was seemingly back to normal after a few hours? i'm still really fucking wary about it regardless • a god might have been able to help but i just healed myself instead
—scooped the seeds outta this thing • another thing i don't wanna talk about • let's just say i had terrible hallucinations for two hours • couldn't break free and apparently nobody could wake me up either? so yeah that's cool i guess
—found hemlock • thankfully didn't eat it because this shit is poisonous • like LEGIT poison? • i'll hang onto it just in case but i ain't gonna like it
january;
—wanna be a human glowstick? you can with this! • for eight whole minutes you can shine bright like a diamond • meaning you'll effectively blind whoever's nearby the whole time • as obnoxious as it is... this one could maybe be useful at some point?
—it's like the evil dead but the shit's already inside of you • and ripping them out hurts like hell • i'm serious about this just • wait the fucking eleven hours it takes for them to die • dirty rotten little bastards better not leave any scars either
—i dunno how to really describe this one? • turns your vision monochrome and distorts sound and makes you feel a little nonexistent • but you can see things that weren't there before • kinda like some bizarre-o ghost realm • only lasted two hours unfortunately
—yeah thanks i hate it • funny how this thing resembles fingers since it makes you see everyone as a walking corpse • oh did i mention it last for TEN HOURS? • like i said before: i fucking hate it • highly recommended you do not touch people unless you want nightmares forever
—no idea why i've still got something that gives you a head cold • and all the good symptoms that come with it for four days • including but not limited to: coughing and sneezing congestion sensitivity to food fevers
—got something that teleports you around the city • unfortunately you can't control it and just kind of end up wherever • might be useful for a quick getaway? other than that i've got no idea • BUT WAIT maybe you could use it for a magic trick or something
—please don't mistake this for a mango • because it kinda looks like one but it's not • good thing it's more red than orange on the inside • it makes all your hair fall out... and i mean ALL of it • but thankfully it grows back to normal after a day
—this mushroom thing let me pretend to be a butterfly • it fucking sucked just so we're clear • barely made it out within the hour it took to close • i'm far too curious for my own good and kind of want to retest to see what it would be like actually staying INSIDE it • note to self: have a god nearby for help just in case
—just gonna call it a sleepy time plant • you wanna go nightnight? because that's what this helps you do • for real it just helps you sleep for eight hours • no side-effects whatsoever?? amazing
—and for something completely different: these are fucking cocaine berries • except instead of like fifteen mins it last four hours??? holy shit • i don't think i'd been that productive EVER • here's hoping my roommates don't mind all the cleaning and rearranging and the food • too bad i was exhausted and couldn't do anything else after it wore off • oh shit you could maybe kinda compare this to adderall and ritalin too
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
asgard plant list with notes by (1) idiot [will be edited as necessary]
—nightvision flowers
• help you see better in the dark
• direct sunlight is a no-go (recommend staying inside even)
• sunglasses???
• lasts 3 hours
—funkylicious mushroom
• you're gonna trip your ass off
• don't take if you wanna be self-aware and possibly trapped in feelings
• weird yellow drops might be best for mild blotter strips
• whole goddamn mushroom lasted 4 hours
—leaves of unseeing
• literally this fucking plant makes you (and anyone else who touches them with bare hands!!!!) blind
• for 8 goddamn hours
• 0/10 WOULD NOT RECOMMEND
—copycat flowers
• makes you sound like the person you're talking to
• maybe good for a prank if you wanna freak someone out? i got nothing honestly
• lasts 6 hours
—stumbled across aloe vera
• just basic-ass aloe vera like from earth?
• soothes burns
• safe to eat :) :) :)
• also good for skincare
september;
—dragonsbreath
• have you ever wanted to breathe fire? because this will make you breathe fire
• have fun pretending you're a dragon but don't burn the place down thanks
• blessedly only erupts like a heartburn burp
• except with FIRE
• thank god i found that aloe vera before
—i hate this fucking cyclops plant so goddamn much
• because it gave me a third eye
• right in the middle of my forehead
• and the only way to get rid of it
• is asking a god for help
• wasn't all bad i guess since you can see more shit
—this nightmare fuel plant
• have fun looking like slenderman for the next two days
• painful bone-cracking is a side-effect
• this would be cool for halloween
—terror berry
• don't be fooled by the cute wordplay
• this thing causes absolutely irrational fear
• to everything AND everyone for twelve whole minutes
• sorry to anyone who had to put up with that idiocy
—this weird cup plant had shit in it
• i drank the goo :(
• the moment i tried to say something untrue i couldn't breathe
• not entirely sure how long it took but after waiting fifteen minutes i tried a test and it didn't happen again
—fuck these fucking blue motherfuckers
• i turned blue for three days
• THREE WHOLE DAYS
• do you know how hard it is to color-coordinate blue skin with your clothes?
• thankfully most of what i own is black so take that you stupid making my ass look like a smurf plant
—godawful neverending shouting fuzzy flowers
• had to crush them up and put them into tea (the fur... i couldn't hold it in my mouth long enough)
• throat was raw for a day or two after ten minutes of shouting
• funny i think i had less trouble that one time when i hooked up with this guy after a rave and
hey wait is this thing still on
HOLY SHIT PLEASE STOP TYPING
that doesn't need to be in there thanks
and we're still going okay cool
today is canceled
october;
—this weird dew-drop looking flower thing
• ok so i tripped balls for ELEVEN GODDAMN HOURS
• pros: i'm pretty sure this is acid
no i'm absolutely POSITIVE it is so that's cool
the trip was terrific but i experimented in my room which means effects could be different elsewhere
will test again
• cons: i couldn't get off my stupid beanbag
—all i did was touch these orchid-looking things
• they secreted this weird purple shit
• and i shrunk ten goddamn inches
• stayed that way for two hours
• then when i finally got back to normal it was disorienting as fuck and i ached for-fucking-ever UGH
—found some chamomile flowers
• makes good tea
• helps with:
• sleeplessness
• aches and pains
• congestion
—this thing is ridculous
• made ALL THE HAIR ON MY BODY grow really fast
• for two whole minutes
• i think my dick is cousin it now
(added who knows how long later:)
• thank god it all shaves off afterward
—gross
(and that's all it says a good ten times, then there's one note at the end:)
• gave me boils that went away after i suffered for three days... could've probably used my healing powers for this one
—whatever the hell this is?
• i don't have much details about this plant yet
• aside from that it made magic practice difficult as hell
• more to come? who knows
—this weird flower that looks like a bat
• made me into a disney princess
• i could talk to the animals we have here? but i don't think they understood me
• apparently morticia and elvira think they're going to get eaten???
• stupid chickens i wouldn't let that happen
—oh my god it's the most beautiful thing i've ever seen
• you guys it's weed
• i found fucking asgard weed and i'm so happy
• oh yeah i guess it lasts for like seven hours
• but who cares? why wouldn't you wanna always be stoned?
december;
—some kinda alcoholic plant? idk
• pretty sure this thing came
• think i'm just gonna start drinking and-slash-or eating this plant
• since it makes you feel drunk for four hours
• also tastes real fucking good (like apples sorta?) so it's a win-win here
—nifty little pods that make you invisible
• like totally disappear
• even though you can still be heard
• oh and whatever you pick up doesn't disappear too :( sad
• seven or so minutes of driving my roomies crazy
—annoying steam-shrooms
• you know those cartoons
where the character eats something spicy
and steam shoots out their ears and nose???
yeah that's what happened with these
plus hot flashes from hell and lightheadedness
• only lasted five minutes at least
—this fabulous stuff
• which is more weed of course
• just look at it
• absolute perfection that makes you feel light and warm and relaxed
• doesn't last as long as the other stuff? only four hours with this one
• but that's okay because it's still weed and that's great
—i don't wanna talk about this one
• let's just say that in ten minutes you suddenly have popcorn
from somewhere you'd never expect
that's all
—no idea what the hell
• after eating this the following happened:
i broke my arm lifting my beanbag
then i broke my ankle going down the stairs
AND THEN i broke my clavicle running into a tree branch
after all this happened i finally said fuck it and stopped moving
• everything was seemingly back to normal after a few hours?
i'm still really fucking wary about it regardless
• a god might have been able to help but i just healed myself instead
—scooped the seeds outta this thing
• another thing i don't wanna talk about
• let's just say i had terrible hallucinations for two hours
• couldn't break free and apparently nobody could wake me up either? so yeah that's cool i guess
—found hemlock
• thankfully didn't eat it because this shit is poisonous
• like LEGIT poison?
• i'll hang onto it just in case but i ain't gonna like it
january;
—wanna be a human glowstick? you can with this!
• for eight whole minutes you can shine bright like a diamond
• meaning you'll effectively blind whoever's nearby the whole time
• as obnoxious as it is... this one could maybe be useful at some point?
—it's like the evil dead but the shit's already inside of you
• and ripping them out hurts like hell
• i'm serious about this just
• wait the fucking eleven hours it takes for them to die
• dirty rotten little bastards better not leave any scars either
—i dunno how to really describe this one?
• turns your vision monochrome and distorts sound and makes you feel a little nonexistent
• but you can see things that weren't there before
• kinda like some bizarre-o ghost realm
• only lasted two hours unfortunately
—yeah thanks i hate it
• funny how this thing resembles fingers since it makes you see everyone as a walking corpse
• oh did i mention it last for TEN HOURS?
• like i said before: i fucking hate it
• highly recommended you do not touch people unless you want nightmares forever
—no idea why i've still got something that gives you a head cold
• and all the good symptoms that come with it for four days
• including but not limited to: coughing and sneezing
congestion
sensitivity to food
fevers
february;
—n/a
(hasn't been tested yet)
—got something that teleports you around the city
• unfortunately you can't control it and just kind of end up wherever
• might be useful for a quick getaway? other than that i've got no idea
• BUT WAIT maybe you could use it for a magic trick or something
—n/a
(hasn't been tested yet)
—please don't mistake this for a mango
• because it kinda looks like one but it's not
• good thing it's more red than orange on the inside
• it makes all your hair fall out... and i mean ALL of it
• but thankfully it grows back to normal after a day
—this mushroom thing let me pretend to be a butterfly
• it fucking sucked just so we're clear
• barely made it out within the hour it took to close
• i'm far too curious for my own good and kind of want to retest to see what it would be like actually staying INSIDE it
• note to self: have a god nearby for help just in case
—just gonna call it a sleepy time plant
• you wanna go nightnight? because that's what this helps you do
• for real it just helps you sleep for eight hours
• no side-effects whatsoever?? amazing
—and for something completely different: these are fucking cocaine berries
• except instead of like fifteen mins it last four hours??? holy shit
• i don't think i'd been that productive EVER
• here's hoping my roommates don't mind all the cleaning
and rearranging
and the food
• too bad i was exhausted and couldn't do anything else after it wore off
• oh shit you could maybe kinda compare this to adderall and ritalin too
—n/a
(hasn't been tested yet)